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"What's another word for Thesaurus ?"
- Steven Wright. |
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"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good ?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes'."
- Steven Wright, More quotation on Sleep. |
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"You can't have everything. Where would you put it ?"
- Steven Wright. |
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"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
- Steven Wright, More quotation on Curiosity. |
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"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
- Steven Wright. |
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"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."
- Steven Wright. |
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"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."
- Steven Wright. |
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"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
- Steven Wright. |
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"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."
- Steven Wright. |
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"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer ?"
- Steven Wright. |