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"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times."
- Rita Rudner, More quotation on Love. |
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"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
- Rita Rudner. |
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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
- Rita Rudner, More quotation on Marriage. |
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"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
- Rita Rudner. |
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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
- Rita Rudner. |
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"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
- Rita Rudner, More quotation on Pets. |
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"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
- Rita Rudner, More quotation on Marriage. |
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"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before."
- Rita Rudner, More quotation on Parents. |
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"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
- Rita Rudner. |
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"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."
- Rita Rudner. |